Feeling Sentimental

Have you ever found a quote or a saying that really spoke to you? I know I have. I love quotes, so much in fact that I get a quote every week from this website www.quotations.com. Ever since high school I've been collecting quotes. I even have a special book that I keep in my desk drawer dedicated to all the quotes that have truly spoken to me. Every now and then I'll read through them and I always find some sort of inspiration from them.

Shortly before Josh and I found out we were pregnant two quotes came to me-one in my weekly email and then one in my devotional book. It was one of those times in my life when I really needed to hear something from God. I'm sure you've all had those moments when you would love for God to just write the answer to all of life's questions in the clouds or speak to you in a loud, audible voice. It was one of those times for me. I was searching, looking for meaning, needing to find God's plan for my life. You see, my desire to have a baby did not just happen this year; it's something that I have desired for a couple of years now. Josh and I didn't really start talking about having children until a few months before we found out I was pregnant, but having a child has been a dream, a desire of my heart for so long. I guess it's something that's harder for girls than it is for guys. It was something I wanted so much, so badly, that every time I heard about one of my friends getting pregnant all I could do was cry. I wanted to be them. I wanted to be the one that was sharing the wonderful news that she would bring a child into the world. And even though we weren't "trying", month after month, I felt like it would never happen. It was during one of these down periods that I ran across these two quotes.

"You must realize that it is the ordinary way of God's dealings with us that our ideas do not work out speedily and efficiently as we would like them to. The reason for this is not only the loving wisdom of God, but also the fact that our acts have to fit into a great complex pattern that we cannot possibly understand. I have learned over the years that Providence is always a whole lot wiser than any of us, and that there are always not only good reasons, but the very best reasons for the delays and blocks that often seem to us so frustrating and absurd." ~ Thomas Merton

"Learning to wait patiently allows us to accept God's timing. Trusting in His watch care, we remain faithful when nothing seems to be happening. We put the situation in His capable hands and leave it there with hope and expectation."

You see, since my sophomore year in high school, the Bible verse Jeremiah 29:11 has been my life verse. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord," plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a good future." I drew so much from that verse which was full of promise for my life. I knew from that verse that God has a plan for my life, a perfect plan, and all I needed to do was submit myself to His will. Reading this quote seemed to echo my life verse. God truly does know best. He knows the exact plan for my life, for each of our lives. Sometimes we get so impatient and we try to make things happen on our own when all God is asking us to do is to wait on Him, to be patient for his perfect plan that He has for our lives.

As most of you know from the blog, God did answer my prayer. Josh and I are expecting :) But you know what, even if that weren't the case, I would still feel so incredibly blessed. There is no way I can ever fully thank God for answering my prayer. I thank Him every day not only for little Eli that I am carrying inside me, but for all of the blessings that he has so graciously poured out on my life. I know that I do not in any way deserve any of them. God, in his wonderful mercy, has blessed Josh and I in so many ways I cannot even count. Eli coming into the world is just the tip of the ice berg. God has been so good to us, but not only in this time during our lives. God has ALWAYS been good and he will ALWAYS be good. God is good during those times in our lives when we feel like we don't have a way out and he's good when everything seems to be going our way. God's goodness does not change with our circumstances; it's who He is and nothing can change that.